What I Want For Mother’s Day
Come a little closer; I want to whisper something in your ear. I speak for most mothers when I tell you this, too.
Here it is.
We don’t want candy or flowers for Mother’s Day this year. We don’t want scented candles, soaps, perfumes, or gels, either.
Please, stop with the sterling silver candlesticks and the hanging plants. We’ve all got enough Meg Ryan dvd’s and little statues of praying children, and while gift cards to Red Lobster are nice, there is something we would all enjoy far more than a one-shot night out with the girls that we can do pretty much any time anyway.
We want a wireless digital picture frame. You heard me. Most of us know enough about technology to figure it out for ourselves, and those of us who don’t, well, YOU can program it for us.
We’re tired of our tabletops and counter space and every available nook and cranny in the house covered with a picture frame. With a digital frame, we could put ALL OF THOSE PICTURES in there and see them any time we wanted to, and in any form, formation, order, and time sequence. We could even listen to music via the frame, and not any of that Neil Diamond stuff you all seem to think we’re into these days, either. I’m talking some serious Maroon Five and maybe even a little Snoop Dawg coming through those little speakers, my children.
I’m not kidding, sons and daughters and grandchildren: Mommy wants a wireless digital picture frame for Mother’s Day, and so does Grandma. The prices are getting reasonable and you can get us a nice one for what you’d spend on flowers that die, candles that melt, perfume that evaporates, and those dreadful little soaps that we’ve pretended to like for years but which are really only good to put in the lingerie drawer to make our underwear smell good, and you honestly don’t want me to go into any more detail about that, do you? Well, do you?
Good. When your mother and your grandmother unwrap their Mother’s Day presents tomorrow, there had better be a wireless digital picture frame under all that tissue paper.
Hey. You asked me what I wanted, and I’m telling you.
